Free play!

“The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.” ~Rita Rudner


A wonderful friend of mine had a trampoline in her backyard. Her kids were grown, so she suggested that I take it for my kids. Sounds like a great idea, right? After all, it's free. That's what I thought. Now I know better.

You see, Cameron, myself, and my brother went to her house to pick it up. She lives nearly behind us, but it's a different neighborhood. We took ol' blue. That's a big, blue truck that we use to haul things. It's been in the family for many many years. Anyway, we walked into her backyard to see a gigantic trampoline. It was quite overwhelming. Now, before I go on with this story, you need to know that I'm lazy. And optimistic. Those two things didn't work in our favor that day. Cameron also likes to do the least amount of work as possible. My brother, however, is a bit smarter than the two of us, but we don't listen to him. That would involve too much work. Ok. Back to the story. I figured there must be an easy way to get this trampoline into our yard without taking it apart. The bolts were tight at rusted. It looked like more trouble than it was worth. After all, she did live VERY close to us. Sort of. Many thoughts crossed through my little brain. I had a vision of us just carrying it through the neighborhood. Down the street. That was quickly knocked down. Then, I thought of carrying it down the street to some stranger's house who happened to live right behind us, and asking them if we could just "throw" it over their fence into our yard. That was also quickly knocked down (whew!) Where did this leave us? Ol' Blue. Trusty ol' blue. It didn't need to be taken apart! We just had to somehow carry it out of her yard, (over her fence!) and then somehow prop it up onto the truck! For some reason, this idea was not knocked down by my compadres. Did I mention that this all took place at dinner time? Our stupidity was driven by hunger. That's my excuse this time. Well, our friends yard consisted of a huge grassy area where the trampoline was located, then a short 3 foot tall rock wall that led to a wooded hill that led to the fence. The truck was parked on the other side of that fence. Now, I don't know how the three of us actually managed to pick this thing up and get it over the fence, but we did. That's all a blur now. I told you, I was not thinking clearly. (did I mention my kids are also with us running in circles in her yard screaming??)
This brings us to the truck. We now have a huge trampoline sitting in the middle of the street next to the truck. The truck suddenly looked very small compared to this massive trampoline. And yet, we continued. The hunger was too strong. The kids were too crazy, and what were we supposed to do now anyway? It was in the middle of the street! We strategized for a while. We figured out which way would be the best to lay this thing onto the truck. Our conclusion was to set the trampoline at the end of the truck, and lift up the far end of the trampoline and flip it over onto the truck. Our idea was for the edge of the trampoline to actually be resting on the roof of the truck, while the rest is resting over the bed. This was a heavy trampoline. I'm not in shape. *sidenote* I am feeling a little embarrassed at what you might be thinking right now about my intelligence. I assure you, I have many strong qualities. Moving trampolines apparently is not one of them. *end of sidenote* Well, we went through with it. My brother and Cameron picked up the end of the trampoline. As it was standing up, it was towering overhead, and I had a bad feeling. Oh well, we continued anyway. I was at the side of the trampoline guiding the whole thing. As it started tilting toward the truck, gravity finally took over and it fell onto the truck. No big deal, right? It will just fall on the stretchy part that we jump on, right? Nope. Not this time. Our aim was so excellent, that the metal edge of the trampoline was perfectly in line with the back window of the truck. We all watched in horror as it fell in slow motion right into the window. Glass was everywhere. All we could do was stand there in silence. I heard gasps. I swear I heard the neighbors peeking through their windows enjoying the free entertainment. I smiled nervously. Oy. All we could do after that, was adjust the trampoline and slowly drive home in shame. Somehow we managed to get it off the truck and into our backyard. We had to buy a new pad for it, and a new net. That was 100 bucks or so. Then we had to buy a new back window for the truck. That was 200 bucks or so. Isn't that the cost of a new trampoline at Walmart?


It's amazing what we will do for our kids.